Sunday, May 16, 2010

We Dream, But We Dream Big

As a person with StPD, we are a people who likes to dream, we have very active imaginations. Thisngs we tend to thnk about are often seen as odd if we talk about them. To a point normal people would see this as being "eccentric." We are eccentric to the normal person, as a Schizotypal, we would do better for ourselves to accept that and learn to work with it rather than fight this part of our personality. We know that we are often seen as being odd and strange and that we just think differently but it's how we think that calls attention to ourselves. What are the things that we think about that normal people take exception too? There is just so much.

We tend to think about things that are bigger than we are. We tend have a wider view and perception of things that are not easily understood by normal people. Normal people do not like things that are "abnormal" or anything that isn't normal. For us we are often frustrated by this because it represents people with closed minds, not willing to accept new ideas and an inability to understand things that are not normal.

We throw the words " Normal, normalcy, normalness" and any other conjugation of that adjective around and try to find acceptance within in it. For us as a people with StPD, it just doesn't happen like that. Eccentricity. As a person with StPD, often times we are "accused" I say "accused" because this is what our feelings are when normal people start putting things out there appear to be complaining of our interests in the parapsychological and paranormal. We dream big. We want to be more than we already are. Often times we feel trapped in our own bodies because our limitations hang around our necks like a boat anchor. We can go and watch a movie and become so "inspired" by it and leave that movie with such an emotional high that when we return home or back to reality, it really does come and smack us right back into reality and we are back in our rut again.
For StPD people, we tend to "invest" (as I said we use big words and unique word choices) time in things like science fiction and fantasy. These things catch our interests and captivate us because we tend to "gravitate" toward the things that show ordinary people facing incredibly overwhelming odds and beating them. Things like Captain Kirk of Star Trek fame, always getting shot up but making it home at the end of the day. Luke Skywalker of Star Wars fame facing his fears and overcoming them by determination and not the "Force" or the Pevinsley 4 from Narnia fame, having came from an ordinary background and gone to become Kings and Queens of a great land.
Stories of ordinary people accomplishing great things by becoming something greater than they were all represent the Human condition, not just any variation of it. The correlation here is that we as Schizotypals see these qualities and admire them subliminally and subconsciously we want to be successful. Our challenge is being able to just do it, such as in expressing ourselves. As soon as we try to act upon it, trying to make something happen , our eccentricity pokes itself out and we are weird all over again.
As a Schizotypal, we have desires to want to be a part of a team, to fit in and be a part of something great, but our condition distinctively sets us apart from everyone else. For us to do this type of thing we need to recognize first that though we are different, we have strengths in some areas where others probably don't. It's also fair to go on and say that we have "deficits" where others don't, making us an "uneven fit" It's this "uneveness" that stands out all the time causing us to become "socially awkward" or even to the point of being recluse. We are there but what do we say? They talk about things that normal people talk about and we are talking about what catches our interests and they are worlds apart. The only things that they have in common is that they are human and breathing the same air. We dream, but we dream big. Bigger, better than we already are. You take the high road, and I'll take the low road and make a map along the way.

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